Blue Like Jazz

Mon, 27 Feb 2006 23:37:48 GMT

Okay, I'm trying to find a pattern for this bag:

http://www.lollygirl.com/images/market_bag.jpg

I found this pic on a blog, and the person had posted where she got the pattern, so I clicked the link, and there's no pattern for it. So, any help would be appreciated! It's called the Trellising Market Bag and it's knitted.

Mon, 06 Feb 2006 15:16:05 GMT

http://photo-origin.tickle.com/image/53/8/0/RL/53807440RL001151932.jpg

Wed, 12 Oct 2005 01:52:51 GMT

LAST PERSON WHO
x. Slept in your bed: me.
x. Saw you cry: Natalie
x. Made you cry: a boy, of course. Ryan.
x. You shared a drink with: Natalie
x. You went to the movies with: Natalie
x. You went to the mall with: Padres
x. Yelled at you: a teacher?
x. Sent you an email: Rebecca

HAVE YOU EVER...
x. Said "I Love You" and meant it?: Yup.
x. Gotten in a fight with your pet: yes.
x. Florida: yes
x. California: no
x. Hawaii: no
x. Mexico: yes
x. China: no
x. Canada: no
x. Danced naked: no
Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day:yeah
x. Wish you were the opposite sex: No.
x. Had an imaginary friend: yes
x. Do you have a crush on someone: maybe...
x. What book are you reading now: Gossip Girl #8
x. Worst feeling in the world: Depression, imperfection
x. Future son's name: ooh, tough. i don't know
x. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: no
x. What's under your bed: a bunch of junk
x. Favorite sport to watch: dance and football and soccer
x. Siblings: 2 sisters
x. Location: of what?
x. College plans: staying in state. UT maybe. SMU or Baylor hopefully. Maybe even UTD. Only if Nat and I can live together, though.
x. Piercings/tattoos: just my ears pierced
x. Boyfriend/Girlfriend: No...
EXTRA STUFF
x. Do you do drugs: nope
x. Do you drink: nope
x. Who is your best friend: Natalie
x. What are you most scared of: failing as a friend
x. What clothes do you sleep in: grey pants and a long shirt
x. Where do you want to get married: yes
x. Who do you really hate: Nobody
x. Been in Love: possibly
x. Do you drive: yes.
x. Do you have a job: close! I put in an application at Beauty Brands today! Along with Nat
x. Do you like being around people: yes
x. Are you for world peace: For sure.
x. Are you a health freak: a bit, but not too bad.

STUFF
x. Have you ever loved someone you had no chance with: yes
x. Have you ever cried over something someone of the opposite sex did: Yup.
x. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after: yes
x. Want someone you don't have right now: yes
x. Are you lonely right now: A bit
x. Do you want to get married: Yup.
x. Do you want kids: yeah

FAVORITE
x. Room in house: My room...
xmusic: jazz
x. Color: purple and blue
x. Perfume or cologne? none
x. Month: december
x. Stone: pearl

IN THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU...
x. Cried: no
x. Bought something: no
x. Gotten sick: Nah
x. Sang: Heck yes.
x. Said "I love you": yes
x. Wanted to tell someone you loved them: sorta
x. Missed someone: Yep
x. Hugged someone: Yep
x. Kissed someone: on the cheek...

Fri, 01 Jul 2005 15:39:52 GMT

Holy crap was last night fun or what?

Jordan invited us dock people to come over to his house and "eat pizza, and drink coke, and swim." I got my license yesterday, so I took Natalie with me. We were the first ones there, so we sat and watched Punk'd with Jordan. The pizza guy came and he forgot something that Jordan needed to sign. By the time the guy brought it back, a lot of other people were there, and we were eating in the kitchen. How his house is set up, you can look out the kitchen window, and see the front porch.

So, Jordan had this brilliant idea. He was gonna play a trick on the pizza guy. He let him ring the doorbell twice. The pizza guy looks over through the window, Jordan stares at him, and shuts the blinds. We were all laughing so hard. It was hilarious. Jordan did go and appologize, and it was fine.

Then we all went swimming! I took Nat home to go get her swimsuit, and we went back to Jordan's. They were already playing "crazy pool games". Which was categories. We played using colors, stores in the Colin Creek Mall, drive-throughs in Richardson, and then states. When we played states, Jordan, me and Taylor all started singing that song that like everyone and their mom learned in like 4th grade.

We played weird versions of Sharks and Minnows. Amanda and I almost drowned playing it, too. Once I was a shark, Jordan kept making the dog like jump over mine and Claire's arms, so now I have scratches from his dog. But I still had fun! At 9:30, I took Natalie home. I felt really rude...so Nat, I'm REALLY sorry if I was rude to you. I really am.

When I came back, everyone was eating Claire's dirt, and some people ate my brownies. Then, like two hours after she said she would come, Courtney showed up. This is where we really had a blast! Jordan and Taylor started playing guitar and we sang songs that nobody knew. So, Courtney got out her laptop and showed us what her and Jordan did for fun that day. It was so funny. They had decided to make this weird music video, and like Jordan's doing a handstand IN COURTNEY'S SWIMSUIT BOTTOMS! It's hilarious. They went to the stable across from his house and asked these girls if they wanted to be in their music video. Apparently they were really rude and were like, "Uh, no, we're WORKING!"

I asked Courtney if they had permission to be there. She goes, "Uh, sorta! I went up to the manager guy, and I was like, 'Uh, were doing a video for a student project, can we shoot it here?' and the guy said it was fine!"

There's some weird scenes of Jordan in cowboy gear, moving hay around. We also watched a video of him "snowboarding" at Huffines park. He was in like full ski gear, in over 100 degree weather. It was so funny. I had to leave at 11, and I really didn't want to. They kept watching more videos and I wanted to watch more, but my mom made me come home. It was so fun, though!

Thu, 30 Jun 2005 00:43:41 GMT

Kim, I miss you. What happened to you, and why do you never talk to me? I miss dishing and ranting and raving to you. PLEASE talk to me.

Okay, today I became a mark. representative. That's right, you can order your amazingly awesome makeup and lotion and whatever from me if you feel so obligated. I wouldn't mind at all if you felt so obligated, either.

Last night we went to the docks. A bunch of people ended up thanking me at the end of the night. this is the story.

Sunday night: I texted Jordan asking him if he'd go to the docks on tuesday if I got people to go. He called me back, but I missed the call. I called him later that night. He told me he'd go and blah blah, but I had to get the people to come and more blah blah. So, I accepted my mission! whoo.

Monday afternoon: I started calling people. Leaving messages, text messaging, whatever. Haha I called Julie Allen and she was asleep...at 1:30 in the afternoon. All her words were slurred together and stuff. It was pretty entertaining. I was unsure if she would come since she was in such a delusional state of mind.

Tuesday afternoon: I kinda freaked out because a bunch of people were on the "maybe" list as to whether or not they would come. I had only 5 for sures: Jordan, me, Natalie, Julie, and Taylor. And I made sure with Julie and Taylor, too. I texted her, making sure she'd come. And she said she would.

Tuesday evening: I texted Jordan, asking him if Kyle was coming. He said he's out of town. I told him how I was amazed that he could've put the docks together in less than an hour and gotten so many people to show up. He called me asking who all was coming and told me he'd be late.

Tuesday, 8PM. Lindsey must've gotten my xanga message cause she showed up.Or her voicemail message. Anyway. I got there and Lindsey, Amanda, Ashley, and Claire were there. That's 4 people that I wasn't expecting. Awesome. Later, Julie and Taylor showed up, as did Jordan. Nat took me, so she was obviously there.

Tuesday, 9:30 PM. Jordan was trying to find a day when most the people could get together and have fun. He decided that on Thursday, he'd have us over and we'd eat pizza, and drink cokes, and swim in his pool, and have fun. We were all game. He then said he was hungry for ice cream. So was everyone else. So, we went to Marble Slab. Courtney met us up there. It was FUN. Jordan bought all of our ice cream. He said, "And don't get anything wimpy.Go big or go home." I went wimpy, though. I got chocolate ice cream with butterfinger in it. Yum.

Then, we all parked in the PetSmart parking lot and talked and ate and listened to Jordan sing a song that nobody liked. It soon turned into "the fish song." Only certain people know "the fish song". Sadly, i'm one of them. Don't be jealous. It's not a song you want to know. "I like fish, in a dish, you're a bitch, but not really..." Highly entertaining, eh?

OH! But before we parked in the parking lot, I was talking with Jordan and Courtney. She was like, "Yeah, so we tried to get Jordan a discount on his new car cause we thought the family discount would work for friends-of-the-family, too. But then my mom said, 'No, just family, and you and Jordan aren't married, so..' And then I was like, 'Well, we're gonna get married anyway!'" I was like, "Oh, really? Do tell, please!"

Courtney was like, "If neither one of us are married by the time we're 26, we're getting married to eachother!" Jordan goes, "Yep! Just like on Friends!" I couldn't help but laugh. Courtney then says, "Yeah, and Doug thinks that he has the same deal. Jordan was all like, 'Cheater!' and I said I never agreed to it. The only thing is, Doug was like, 'If I clap once, it means I want sex. Twice, I want a blow job!'"

I didn't hear the blow job part, so I asked Courtney what clap twice was. She said it, and ridiculously loud, too. It.Was.Hilarious. The lady behind Courtney turns around, and gives her THE worst look ever. I couldn't help but burst into laughter. Courtney thought I was crazy, so I told her what happened. She started laughing, too.

10:45. We all decided to leave. Most of our curfews are 11, and Jordan hadn't seen his parents for like 3 days, so we all left. Natalie and I rode back to the docks with him so we could get her car. I was SO tired. I fell asleep in the front seat. Jordan swerves onto the bumps and screams "WAKE UP!" to me. It was awesome. NOT! I was really tired! so mean. I told him he was mean, too.

We talked about him leaving high school and starting college as a sophomore. He was like, "Raychel, I'm gonna miss being in your dance class!" I said me too. He goes, "Why? I never did anything?" so we talked about dance. We listened to rap for some reason. I think it was because none of us ever listen to it, so we tried it out. None of us could stand it.

Back at the docks, we listened to Bethany Dillon. Move Forward, to be exact. Nat knew how tired I was and I was falling asleep and she goes, "I better hear you singing!!!" If you've never heard Move Forward, it'd be hard for you to understand. Basically, it's Beth singing the words "I move forward through hope" most of the song. And she's reaching these awesome notes for extended lenghts of time. Nat and I like to listen to it real loud and sing so we sound just like her. Normally, I can do it. While curled up in a car and half-asleep, it's not so easy. But it was rather fun trying.

I got home RIGHT at 11. Whoo hoo for me.

Today I bought some more waterproof mascara and a new bikini from Target. My bikini is so amazingly cute. It's blue with red hearts on it and on the boob and butt, it has a red sequened heart. So cute.

I'm finally getting my license tomorrow. Go me. Then i'm off to Jordan's awesome party. I have to remember to get directions, though. I'm gonna take Nat since I'll have gotten my license. I'm so excited! Yay. Tomorrow's gonna be awesome. I wanna start Yoga real bad. Random, but I got this book called "Uh, like...Om? The girl goddess's guide to Yoga." Now I really wanna do it.

Wed, 15 Jun 2005 15:26:55 GMT

I think I've posted this before, so too bad if I have. You can read it again! Yay.

I was so unique, now I feel skin deep.
I count on the makeup to cover it all.
Crying myself to sleep cause I cannot keep their attention.
Thought I could be strong, but it's killing me.
Does someone hear my cry?
I'm dying for new life.
I wanna be beautiful,
make You stand in awe,
look inside my heart and be amazed.
I want to hear You say who I am is quite enough.
I just wanna be worthy of love and beautiful.
Sometimes I wish I was someone other than me.
Fighting to make the mirror happy.
Trying to find whatever is missing.
Won't You help me back to glory?
I wanna be beautiful,
make You stand in awe,
look inside my heart and be amazed.
I want to hear You say who I am is quite enough.
I just wanna be worthy of love
You make me beautiful,
You make me stand in awe,
You stepped inside my heart,
and I am amazed.
I love to hear You say who I am is quite enough.
You make me worthy of love and beautiful.
You make me worthy of love and beautiful.

Babysitting at Thomas'

Sun, 12 Jun 2005 00:02:09 GMT

Whoo hooo I'm babysitting Thomas right now. He's singing a song, saying, "When's my mommy gonna be back?" He keeps running across the patio with this red firetruck thing. Oh great, now he brought it inside and it's FULL of water.

Okay, so let's get to a-postin, shall we?

May 26 was my last day of school. It was supposed to be May 27, but I didn't have any exams, so go me.

May 28, we left to go to Ohio. It was pretty boring. We met up with my dad's best friend from high school and hung out with him. It was awesome. I met people that I had never met in my life. These people were like, "I say a picture of you from when you were this tall." Some of them were cool. Some weren't. One in particular, but let's not talk about it. One night when we were there, these kids were shooting bullets into the air. At least we THOUGHT they were bullets. Ends up, they were fireworks. In the freaking daylight. Real cool. Not.

We got back on like May 31. At 11 at night. The flight was so scary.

I was so excited because i'd be getting to go to The Dock the next night. Natalie came with me again. I baked TONS of cookies for it, too. We drove around, until it was time. We got there and parked for a while. I called pretty much everyone who goes regularly. Not a single one was going. I didn't even bother Jordan cause he told me he was out of town in a text while I was in Ohio. Natalie suggested that we go to the 7th and 8th grade Girl's Bible study at our church. I figured, hey I have tons of cookies and a Bible, let's go. So, we did. It was rather entertaining. I actually learned stuff, too. We read the whole book of Colossians. It was cool. I think I participated more than the 7th and 8th graders did! And those girls ate my cookies ALL up! I think I had like 2 left at the end o fthe thing.

I don't recall anything too eventful happening the rest of the week. Nat and I spent the night at eachother's houses like every night and we just drove around and listened to Bethany Dillon sing "Beautiful" over and over. We also started to learn how to play it on the guitar. Nat was doing a WAY better job at it than I.

On Saturday, I helped my friend Sarah with collecting money for her mission trip to Jamaica. We had a car wash. It was pretty fun. I brought sunscreen, and just never wore it. So, I got the funniest looking farmer's tan ever. Now it's a tan and sadly, peeling. My sister's like "Eww gross." Too bad. Like she's never had a peeling burn before. It reminds me of you, Kim and you're lovely skin peelings from last year. Should I sell them on eBay?

Monday was the start of Vacation Bible School. It was so fun. I loved every kid I had in there. Even when half of them were out with some stomach virus and throwing up half of the night. Gross. Luckily, I didn't get it.

Tuesday was Nat's 17th b-day. We went to Chili's with some people. Including Jacob. GAG ME. If only he knew what horrible feelings I have towards him. He told me he loved me like a thousand times and I would just go, "Okay." Everyone would crack up when I said that, too. Marci was gonna come to the Dock with us, so we all got in the car and I called Lindsey. She said the Dock was cancelled for this Tuesday, but we might go next Tuesday. So, Nat and Marci came over to my house. We had our own little Bible study. We were all gonna sleepover at Nat's, but for some reason, her mom said no.

Now it's Saturday and I'm pretty bored. My 16th birthday is in 10 days, though. Thomas is sitting on his little potty in the living room watching Blue's Clues. The joy of potty training. Just kidding! He told me he had to go, and he's been on the thing for like 30 minutes, and still nothing.

I went to Barnes and Noble and bought 3 books today. I'll be returning one of them. I looked at the reviews AFTER I bought it, and apparently, it sucks. I tried reading some of it, and it wasn't that great. I guess I'll go back tomorrow. I bought the 2nd and 3rd Clique books. I already finished the 2nd, and I'm sure I'll get through the 3rd by tomorrow. I wonder what book will replace my crap one. Hmm. Maybe I'll just go to Half Price where it will be el cheapo and still new. Maybe.

and it's just You and me here now, only You and me here now.

Wed, 25 May 2005 17:42:17 GMT

Docks was last night. Since it's under construction, we sat on the bridge. It was pretty fun. Except only one graduated senior showed up. Laine. Nobody else. No Courtney, Claire, Caroline, Kyle, or Jordan. It was sorta boring without them. Just a bunch of sophomores, one junior, and one Freshman in college. But we still had fun.

I brought Natalie. She was the one junior.

We sang really pretty songs this time. It was sorta bittersweet. I'm gonna miss the Docks during the summer. We're all still gonna go whenever we actually can, but I can't go like 5 times the whole summer. That's a lot to me. But hopefully, I can start some sort of tradition like that when I go to Florida. Kim, you can join me. We'll just go around and find some teenagers to befriend and start a Bible study with. Find some oceany kinda place to have it. Sounds awesome.

Today was my last day of school! Tomorrow was supposed to be, but my teachers told me not to even bother showing up. WHOO HOO!

I came for 2 hours and 4 minutes today. I got there at 9 and left at 11:04. WOOT. I'm going to Kelsey's house in a little bit with Josh, Molly, and Lauren to go SWIMMING! YAY! Ew Josh was like totally oogling me when I was wearing a halter top and shorts last weekend. He's never seen me in a bikini, and I'm kinda scared! HAHA.

Let's see. Friday, I'm going to Ohio. Boring. I'll be back on Monday.
June 6-10 is VBS
June 20-25 is Senior High Escape to Padre! And my 16th birthday!
June 26-30 is some rest days.
Then, like all of July: FLORIDA! WHOOOOOO HOOOOO!

I'm totally looking forward to it. Kim, we should find 2 hot guys to go dancing with us. I can teach everyone some country line dances! Yay!

I'm so excited! I'd better go change into my swimsuit. HAHA! All my friends are still taking exams for another 20 minutes!

I wasn't supposed to leave until 1, but my 5th period teacher goes, "If you're exempt, don't even bother showing up tomorrow!" SO, I left at 11, after my dance exam. Everyone loved our dance. Of course, cause I choreographed it-all by myself.

Well, I'm gonna go now!

Sun, 22 May 2005 21:07:59 GMT

So, last night, Natalie and I went to the Wildflower Festival to go see Ryan Cabrera. I bought this really cute little Cross thing and we just walked around. Since yesterday morning was Graduation, I decided to text Jordan to say congrats or whatever. That was at around 9ish. The text said something like "Congrats, I can't believe yall graduated already. Have fun at Ram Jam. Can u send me Claire's number? Im at wildflower and it's freaking hot."

And it was freaking hot. It was 100 when we first got there, and it cooled down to around 98 at like 8ish.

Anyway. So, Jordan's usually really good about getting right back to me. But he wasn't tonight. I thought it was really weird.

We went to the stage where Ryan was gonna be playing and we listened to this other band. i can't remember their name, but they were really good. I saw some people from my school. At one point I looked behind me and I saw Jordan. Well, his hair. I didn't wanna keep staring in case it wasn't him, so I looked at the stage again. I heard my name called really loud all of a sudden. I turned around, and it was Jordan. We said hey or whatever and that was all. That was at like 10:15. He ended up leaving at around 11 because of Ram Jam.

And it was weird cause I hadn't seen him since like Tuesday, and on Friday night, I had a dream about him. Weird.

Erin and I texted eachother all through Ryan's show. She was like "Is he hot in person?" and I go, "Sorta, but he desperately needs a haircut!" Cause he does. I think he'd look way better with a little less hair.

So, seniors all graduated. Pretty sad considering the fact that most my friends are seniors. I don't know what I'm gonna do without them!

I forced Kyle to sign my yearbook. He was sitting with me at lunch on Friday, and I was like "Sign my yearbook" and he's like "no" and i go "yes" We did that for like 5 minutes and he goes "GEEZ! I'LL SIGN IT!" He grabs it out of my hand and flips to the back. I cracked up when I read it. It goes, "I think you were nice? Kyle K."

That's Kyle's lovely essence right there. Obnoxious, yes. Loveable, of course! Haha like one day he got sent out of Physics cause he said "magina." It was hilarious. He goes, "Why, coach? It's like saying fenis, it's not a real word!" Coach couldn't help but laugh, but he had to send him out to be fair to other kids who say obscene things.

I think I have a picture of Kyle, actually! Ok, kidding, the school site already took it off. Too bad.

Sun, 15 May 2005 21:50:56 GMT

Woot, so yesterday, I got to see and meet my favorite band again! Fastball. Whoo hoo. I got another pic, and it's a thousand times cuter than my old one, even with my eyes shut! The old ones are from April 21, 2004. So, like a little over a year ago. And, I can play the opening of "Falling Upstairs" on the guitar. Wow, I'm so accomplished. JUST KIDDING! OK, photobucket's being retarded, so yall will see the pics whenever it's not retarded anymore.

we be makin a whole short joint circut....or something to that effect

Sat, 14 May 2005 02:17:00 GMT

Okay, so for those of yall who are wondering about Bando stuff for me, here's the 411.

Monday was our first of 3 workshops.

Sweaty. I couldn't get the freaking dance down. Yelica and I went to Victoria's house to work on stuff. She said I had amazing kicks for someone who's never high kicked in their life. Amazing kicks literally, she said.

Tuesday we worked on kicks, then the dance. I was so sweaty. Seriously, my hair was COMPLETELY soaked, and I was just nasty. I had to go to JP's Bible study about 20 mins after practice, so I called him. Didn't answer. Very weird of him. I didn't leave him a message. So, I just texted him. I said "Are we going to the dock at 7 instead of 7:30?"

Finally, he calls me back. I was almost in tears from frustration of myself. He could tell. He was like, "Please don't cry while you're on the phone with me. I don't think I'll be able to handle it..."

I said, "Fine, I'll cry when you actually see me." He laughed.

At this moment, I was almost positive that I wouldn't try-out.

Jordan called me again once I got home. I was still angry and still on the verge of tears. He said, I'll be at your house in 2 minutes. Be ready cause we're late." I told him, "I need food...I'm going to pass out at any minute now. I'm totally serious. My blood sugar's too low...I can't stop shaking..."

"Just hold tight for like a minute, find something with carbs...get something to drink....I'm almost there."

I had enough time to get some poptarts and Gatorade then he called me. He made sure I was still concious and told me that I needed to skidaddle.

I got in the car and my hands started shaking even more than before. I was getting sweaty and cold and dizzy. I told him to help me open the poptarts fast or we'd be on our way to the hospital instead of Bible study. I shoved half a poptart in my mouth so I wouldn't pass out. It made me feel a lot better. We blasted the Christian music and when I sang, I spit out poptart. Embarassing.

I saw him looking at me every once in a while out of the corner of my tear filled eye. He wants me to talk. I tell him there's nothing to talk about. He asks what's wrong. I tell him. I can't get the freaking dance down, all the other girls already have it. It's nothing that Jesus can't handle, he tells me. I actually want him to just stop with all the Jesus stuff. I love Jesus and everything, but ever since the break-up, that's seriously all we talk about. I miss the old Jordan. I still like him, but sometimes the religion thing gets overpowering. I miss being able to say something and us both taking it the wrong way. I miss just talking about family and friend stuff with so much trust in eachother. I just miss him.

We go get Amanda and Ashley. Twins, yet so different. They both get in the back seat, never seeing me. I turn and ask Amanda to open my Gatorade. "HOLY CRAP! SOMEONE'S IN THE FRONT SEAT! I don't want a Gatorade..."

I know, I say. I just want it opened. So she opens it for me. Then, at a light, Jordan offers to open it for me. Too late.

We go to the Dock. I leave in 20 minutes. I'm going to get help with the dance at the studio. While there, me, Ashley, and Leandra get locked into the bathroom. We laugh. We practice the dance. I cry. I look like I've never danced in my life. I hate wondering what others think of me. I want them to know I'm a pretty good dancer, when I've got a longer time to learn a dance. 9:15. I decide not to tryout for Bandos.

Last night were tryouts. I couldn't have cared less. All my Bando friends are mad at me. That's exactly why I didn't tryout, I tell them. They don't get it. It wasn't what I've been wanting for myself, It's what EVERYONE else has wanted for me, sorry, maybe next year, I say.

Jordan was supposed to come to church with me on Wednesday. He ended up not being able to come. He asked me how it was. I wanted to tell him the truth, but instead I just said fun. I wanted to tell him that I was really looking forward to bringing him. Having my friends meet him, changing some peoples' minds about him. But I don't.

Now we've only got about 5 days left together. I feel like i've wasted the time. We're going to church together on Wed. He promised. Right in front of my whole dance class, too. Ana got jealous. Again. They're friends, but more like aquantances. If you quized everyone in that class and asked everyone who their closest friend in that class was, almost all of them would say me. I'd say Jordan. He's really my only actual friend in there. He's the only one I can tell that I'm having the worst day of my life, the best day ever, not say anything at all and he still gets me.

I'm so scared for next year when I won't have him there.

Ironic: Jordan and Laine won Mr. and Miss BHS. Voting was 2 months after their breakup. Nobody could think of anyone else. Jordan asked me if I voted for him. I said no. Why, he asked. Because I didn't want to have to put you in that situation like everyone else did. He thanked me. Duh, anyone in their right mind would know better.

Or maybe just his friend would.

Kyle Knighton got a mohawk yesterdy. He looked hot with it. Today, It was gone. I was rather upset about it. My mom made me cut it off for senior recognition, he says.

We talk about how amazing Blue Like Jazz is, how great Jesus Freaks is, and how awesome eachother is.

Why is everything that was supposed to be helping me for next year failing on me? Next year was supposed to be my year. Doesn't look that way anymore.

cold toesies

Mon, 09 May 2005 00:21:36 GMT

Your #1 Match: ESFJ

The Caregiver

You are sympathetic and caring, putting friends and family first.
A creature of habit, you prefer routines and have trouble with change.
You love being in groups - whether you're helping people or working on a project.
You are good at listening, laughing, and bringing out the best in people.

You would make a great nurse, social worker, or teacher.

Your #2 Match: ENFJ

The Giver

You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed.
Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections.
Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down.
You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine.

You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

Your #3 Match: ESTJ

The Guardian

You're a natural leader and quick, logical decision maker.
Goals are important in your life, and you take many steps to acheive them.
You enjoy interacting with others, mostly through work related activities.
Your high energy level means you are great at getting things done!

You would make a great teacher, judge, or police detective.

Your #4 Match: ENTJ

The Executive

You are a natural leader - with confidence and strength that inspires others.
Driven to succeed, you are always looking for ways to gain, power, knowledge, and expertise.
Sometimes you aren't the most considerate person, especially to those who are a bit slow.
You are not easily intimidated - and you have a commanding, awe-inspiring presence.

You would make a great CEO, entrepreneur, or consultant.

Your #5 Match: ESFP

The Performer

You are a natural performer and happiest when you're entertaining others.
A great friend, you are generous, fun-loving and optimistic.
You love to laugh - and you like almost all people equally.
You accept life as it is, and you do your best to make each day fantastic.

You would make a good actor, designer, or counselor.

What's Your Personality Type?

Sat, 07 May 2005 22:15:34 GMT

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

All pretty much true. Except the last one.

my new friend?!

Sat, 07 May 2005 14:18:50 GMT

Okay, I'd like to start off saying this: WHO in their right mind would text message me at EIGHT O CLOCK this MORNING?!?! I just about had a heart attack when my phone made that beep-beep-beep-----beep-----beep sound. Plus the vibration doesn't help either when the phone's smacked up against a peice of wood. But, whatever. I don't care if you text message me at 8 on a school day, but days that I don't have school, please wait until 9.

Okay, so I'm gonna rewind to 7 last night. I was at my school's auditorium with pretty much the rest of the school. Battle of the Bands, baby! Pancho's Lefty, Relax City, Union Jack, The Echoes, Temporary 5, and of course THE EASY CROWD played! Easy Crowd won. Then, Union Jack got second place. The Echoes got third. It was really good.

While Easy Crowd was playing, I looked over and Laine, Claire, and Caroline were standing next to my sister. Easy Crowd's set had just wrapped, and I bent over to get the program that fell on the floor. I saw Laine's shoes turn and face me and a tap on my back. I got up and she goes, "I totally didn't know you were coming! How are you?!" I go (really confused at the time, too)"I'm good! How are you?"

We ended up talking about how loud it was and I asked if she was going to go to The Dock on Tuesday. She said Yes, of course, are you? I said Yeah, and I heard you have a Bible study, too. She goes, Yeah I do. Do you wanna come? It's every Thursday at my house at 4:30. Come! I told her I couldn't this week because of Bando stuff, which she COMPLETELY understood.

Later, after the show was done, we all went up to Sonic. Becca had all these old cd's in her car, so we turned them on and danced in the parking lot.

So, basically what i'm saying is that Laine and I are actually (put your gasps here) friends. I had SO much fun with her last night at Sonic. We were all dancing around and singing and these little girls in the SUV next to us were singing too, and looking at us like we were the coolest things. It was so fun. I don't know, it's weird. Whenever she and Jordan were together, she just seemed really rude sometimes. But now that they're apart, she seems really nice most of the time. Weird.

Yesterday, I told Jordan that I COULD go to the Dock on Tuesday and that he could go to church with me on Wednesday because my plans had changed. He was happy. Then, he started singing that song that goes "stop, and thank ya baby, i gotta stop and thank ya baby!" He held out his hand, so I high-fived (dame cinco!) it and we just stood there, singing and being retarded in front of everyone. Wow.

A couple of days ago, I let Natalie borrow the best book on the face of this planet: Blue Like Jazz. She told me she had a book that I had to read. So, she brought it to me yesterday. Holy crap. It's almost 500 pages long! Crazy! But it sounds good, so ask me about it in like, 5 years.

Wed, 04 May 2005 23:29:23 GMT

So, everyone will gasp in amazement and go "WHHHOOOOOO" like a 5-year-old after this post.

Maybe. Probably not, though.

So, since the breakup, Jordan and I have been getting closer. You can whooooo there if you feel the need.

But just as friends, nothing more. An aww can be placed there.

Bible study, being supportive of eachother, text messages and late night phone calls are pretty much the norm for us.

Yesterday I sent him a text after school, "Are we going to the dock tonight?" He called me right back. He goes, "I recognize this number, but i'm not totally positive who's it is...this is Jordan.."

Me: It's Raychel.
Him: Oh, okay! What's up.
Me: Nothing.
Him: I don't know. Everyone's really busy tonight, I don't think we're going.
Me: Yeah, and w/ the dance recital and all...
Him: That's tonight!?
Me: Uh, aren't you in it?
Him: Maybe. I dunno. What time?
Me: 6, but dancers have to be there at 5.
Him:Did Mrs. Smith say my name?
Me: What?
Him: Did she say I had to be there then too?
Me: No...why would she? She told all dancers to be there...
Him: Whatever.
Me: You're retarded.
Him: Hey, I gotta go, I'll see you tomorrow?
Me: Wait, what about tonight? Are you gonna come watch?
Him: Maybe. I'll try.
Me: Okay...
Him: I'll see you in like 30 minutes.
Me: Okay.
Him: Wait, are you coming next week?
Me: Probly not. Bando stuff.
Him: Raycheeeeel!
Me: What?!
Him: Nothing. Just playing with ya.
Me: Okay, now I have to go. I'll talk to you later.
Him: Okay! Bye!
Me: Bye.

Wow.

Today.

It was like 12:48, one minute before the bell rings for lunch. A lot of us were just standing in the hall, waiting for the bell.

Jordan sees me, then SALUTES me. I was like, "What was that?" He just started laughing.

Him: You seem really quiet today. (My own note: This is the first time he saw me all day. How could I seem quiet? We were watching a movie earlier, and he wasn't even in the room. End of note.)
Me: *shrugs shoulders and looks out window*
Him: How are you?
Me: (in pretty much a whisper.) okay.
Him: Are you okay?
Me: *nods head yes.*
Him: What is it?
Me: *shakes head no, looks at him. he walks closer to me. his eyes looked actually worried*
Him: Wanna talk about it?
Me: *shakes head no*
Him: I'm sorry. (walks up to me and rubs my arm. in front of people. teacher people. people who spread rumors. people who don't know that we're pretty good friends. people who will go tell on him to laine even though they're not together. just people.)

So, I decided I'd invite him to churchy church tonight.

I'm such a procrastinator. I got to his # in my cell and kept my finger lingering over the button for ten minutes. no joke.

So, I finally just pressed the friggin thing. He picked up after the first ring.

Him: Raychel! (in a Spanish accent)
Me: *laughs* hey!
Him: What is up?
Me: Watching tv. My least favorite thing to do.
Him: Good for you. It's bad for you.
Me: I know. What are you doing.
Him: Talking to you on the phone.
Me: Wow, would've never guessed that one!
Him: Yep! So, what's going on?
Me: I wanted to see if you wanna come to church with me tonight?
Him: ooh...what church?
Me: First United Methodist.
Him: I want to, but I'm going to church with Kyle tonight. He goes to First Baptist.
Me: Yeah, I know.
Him: What time does your church start?
Me: Eight.
Him: Hm...I don't think I can make it. I'm really sorry. But, next week?
Me: Can't. Bando stuff again.
Him: Raychel, Bandos is ruining your life and you haven't even made it yet!
Me: I know!
Him: No dock, no church. It's terrible!
Me: I know. And only if they would put the time back by like an hour, it'd be fine.
Him: Well...you, me can get together and play some guitar...worship. We could get Kyle and like one other guy...or girl, whatever. Would you be up for that?
Me: Yeah, definetly.
Him: When would it be good for you?
Me: Friday?
Him: Next Friday?
Me: yah.
Him: Okay, cool.
Me: Yay. Awesome. SO, how was your day?
Him: It was okay. Not the best.
Me: Same here. And I sorta lied to you today...
Him: About what?
Me: When you asked me if anything was wrong and I said no.
Him: Yeah, I could tell something was wrong. I just didn't wanna force you to talk about it.
Me: Thanks. But, that really meant a lot to me. Seriously. Not even my best friend knew anything was wrong. You were the only one.
Him: Wow! I feel special! Oh, how was the recital?

Then, I told him all about the recital. Then we said bye and left.

Why is all of this happening now? Now meaning only about 13 days of school left for the seniors. AH! that's even scarier.

Jacob asked me out again. It went a little like this:

*Jacob runs down the hall and jumps on me and hugs me*
Him: Guess what, Raychel?!
Me: What, Jacob?
Him: I don't have a girlfriend anymore!
Me: Great?
Him: So, guess who's my new girlfriend?
Me: (Playin the stupid card) Who?
Him: YOU!
Me: Really?
Him: Yeah!
Me: Okay.

Now, how the hell he could belive me? I don't know. My tone was pretty non-dramatic and monotone.

Today, he saw me and goes, "Come here." I seriously thought he'd kiss me. Which would be the most horrifying moment of my life. All he wanted was a hug, thank God.

He goes, "You have to hug me more since your my girlfriend now."

I get out of his hug, look at him and go, "I am NOT your girlfriend."

I have more to tell him tomorrow. Some pretty mean, bitchy things.

But hey, if it must come down to being bitchy, i will do it. It's just the way it is.

this sucks.....

Mon, 25 Apr 2005 22:53:02 GMT

why have I never listened to this cd? it's amazing. Brushfire Fairytales by Jack Johnson. I bought it...I guess just to have it, but I never listened to it. I should've. It's so good.

Today was pretty hard. Especially 4th period.

I got pissed at some people. One in particular.

Mrs. Smith. She didn't say ONE freaking word to me. Barely looked at me. Nothing.

It made me feel a billion times worse. I expected her to hug me and say how sorry she was and that I should've made it. But no, like I said, not a single word, no look, nothing.

I didn't get to talk to Jordan today. I saw him sitting alone with Lacey at lunch today. I thought it was rather weird. They were at the same table he and Laine used to sit by themselves at. I hope I'll talk to him tonight at YL.

Speaking of YL it's senior night, and the last club of the year. It's so sad!

Another person I didn't get to talk to: Clint. I really wanted to. I saw him 2 times during 5th, and either he didn't see me, or he just decided to not say anything to me. I always see him after 7th, and I did today, but he was talking to Kara.

I almost got to talk to Grant, but he left right when I was about to talk to him.

It seemed to me like all the people who I talk to on a daily basis sorta...avoided...me today. It sucks.

I smell something good...Chinese food maybe? I hope. I shall go investigate.

why did this happen?

Sat, 23 Apr 2005 20:54:26 GMT

I didn't make it.

And, I'm not kidding. I really wish I was.

I'll tell you guys how try-outs went anyway.

Okay, so, I tryed out bright and early this morning, but I won't find out results until 3. I will definetly tell you guys.

So, I'll just tell yall about how the tryouts went.

Okay, let me just start out by saying this: I hope I never hear the song, "Take It Easy" by Travis Tritt ever again. Do you know how many times i've heard it in the past 3 months? I don't even know! Too many, that's how many.

Anway. So, I woke up at 7 this morning. I ate Cheerios. I brushed my teeth. Put on some mascara. Put on blue jeans, the white t-shirt, socks, and of course, my boots! I decided to put my hair half-up. I spun around, did some stuff to see if that was a sufficient hairstyle. It was.

I then took off all my jewelry. That was sad. I feel weird without it. I didn't even get to wear my signature hoop earrings. But that's okay. I think i'd rather go without earrings and have normal earlobes than wear them and risk having messed up earlobes.

I got to school at around 7:45. There were a lot of people there. I practiced my horrible dips with three guys. Grant, at around 8. They were getting better. Then with Jordan a little bit after 8. This lady was telling me how to do them which I hate because she's never done it. Let me see you do it and keep your foot in the right place! I was just glad I got to see Jordan. He's like my best friend, and a secret crush! Whoo.

Then, I practiced the whole dance with my partner litterally right before we went out. My dips were getting better.

Then, at around 8:05, it was my turn. I was FREAKED! Everyone thought I was going to pass out because I kept taking in tons of really deep breaths.

So, Jeff and I got out to where we were trying out. Jeff is the captain, so I knew he could make me look pretty good! We go out there, and I'm like, "Hi, I'm Raychel." and I smiled. I noticed how weird the judges were immediately.

The one and only guy looked sorta pervy. I did this one dip and I gave him this look and sorta flirted with him, and he raised his eyebrows and smiled. I was like "Ew!"

The woman in the middle was older than the other two judges. She seemed pretty mean, too. I don't think I ever saw her smile. She just sat there with a blank face the whole time. It was sorta scary.

Then, the last woman was really young and really pretty. According to all of the third years, she has been judging "since forever." She smiled like once, but hey, it was nice!

Now, onto the dance!

We start out doing a grapevine to the right, then to the left, pivot turn, pivot turn, "sass" dipp. Sass dip is just like this little hip shake sorta thing. So, I do my sass dip, and as I did it, I looked at Mr. Perv and that's when he did that gross smile thing.

Then, we got to the actual dance. I hate all the boys...they can't count. You would think if they've been on the team for THREE years, they'd know how to count music by now. Anyway, we're supposed to do this series of turns on 4. Well, Jeff had his arms out on 2. So I just waited until 4. Well, acutally like 3 and a half, but it was close.

I did this turn called "Texas Tornado." It makes you SO dizzy. I got so dizzy and I took a couple of extra steps. Then, it was Jessie flippin time! Jessie flip: girl just stays straight, arms sorta crossed at chest. Guy puts right arm around girl's stomach, left at the knees and flips the girl. Since you're being spun kinda fast in mid-air, and the girls are much smaller than the guys, you sorta hop when you land. I ended up hopping like twice. It was kinda weird.

Then, we got to this thing called mushroom. I really can't explain it. There's guy mushroom, where the girl spins the guy, then girl mushroom, where the guy spins the girl. Jeff spun me, and as we did "the sexy move", veil, he grabbed my hand and my HAIR! Since we didn't have time to just let go and do the move anyway, I had to spin with him hold my by my hand and my hair. I'm sure it looked pretty funny. I tried really hard not to scream or laugh or anything.

Then, the funnest thing ever, hip dip! This is NOT the one I have problems with. On this one, the girl and guy hold opposite hands. Then, the guy's other hand is on her waist, and her hand is on his shoulder. The girl jumps, the guy squats, and your hips are "locked" together. The girl's left leg is bent and her right is straight, and right by his head. The girl's head ends up about an inch and a half off of the ground, and between his feet. Since you're upside down, it's quite hard to look at the judges.

So, I decided to turn my head a little more, and I saw the floor. That was pretty bad.

Then, we did some two-stepping. It's like the easiest move, but I ended up messing it up some. I know they saw it cause they immediately marked something on their little papers when I did an extra step, step.

My dips that I've had trouble with...wow. THEY WERE FREAKING AMAZING! I was SO excited. I guess it was the adrenaline, because they couldn't have been better! I stepped out at the perfect place, and I did it right. I was so excited that I forgot to point my foot! Yay for me.

Then, we did our last three moves: Sit 'n Spin, Thread the Needle, and The Cliffhanger.

Sit 'n Spin is this turn that you both do at the same time, but while the girl is spinning, she sorta squats down. Thread the needle is ALWAYS done right after sit n spin. Basically, the girl is the thread, and the guy's arm is the needle hole. You just go through.

Then, Cliffhanger! Parents hate watching this one. The girl is holding the guy's right hand with her left. Her right arm is up on her chest. The guy rolls her in, she lifts her left leg. He grabs it with his left arm. The girl jumps up, and her body is totally perpendicular to the guy's head. The guy then rolls her down the length of his body. Now, the girl only falls if SHE forgets to do one thing: bend her right leg. That's the only way the guy is able to catch her.

It scares parents because first of all, they think their daughter is going to be dropped. Second, when you end cliffhanger, the girl's head is literally ONE INCH off of the floor. It's actually one of the easiest things, but they do it just for show.

Then, Jeff and I linked arms again, and he says through his smile, "Say thanks!" So, I did. Again, in this little voice.

I was SO happy to get out of there! As soon as you get to where the judges can't see you, you see every group just celebrate and jump, laugh, high-five, whatever.

I felt like a bijillion times better once I got out of there!

But I wished I could go back and do it over. I don't think I did too well. I really don't know if I will make it! I really hope so!

That was a post from ddn. Here was my follow up:

You guys, this is so hard for me to tell you, but, I didn't make it.

I really wish I could scream "just kidding!" but I can't because I really didn't make it.

I feel horrible right now. So many girls who's hearts totally weren't into it, and they (in my opinion) didn't deserve ended up making it. I'm so angry. I'm really angry at the co-director. She's my dance teacher and she was so proud of me, and she just knew that I was going to get it. She would say, "You're gonna make such a good Rambler next year!" and stuff like that.

I was so excited, you guys. I wanted this SO bad, and I really am having a hard time believing that I didn't make it. I definetly had doubts in my mind, and anytime I would even THINK about not making it, I would start crying. It's as if I knew I wouldn't make it.

I'm also almost mad for not ryouing out last year because everyone who tried out last year ended up making it this year.

And there's this girl, Kristen, I was almost positive that she wasn't going to get it. She would have SO many mistakes and stuff and Clint (one of our friends) would practice with us, and the other day he whispered to me, "I really will be surprised if you make it and Kristen does." And, look. She did.

One of the hardest things to me is that so many people thought I was going to make it. They had no doubts in their minds that I wasn't going to and it's going to be so hard tomorrow and Monday, telling these people that I didn't make it.

Like I said before, at first, I could've cared less whether or not I would make it, but within the last few weeks, my heart has totally grown into it. It's so hard. I really want to talk to the co-director. And two of my guy friends. I think they're the only one's who might be able to help me. Not to get on, cause obviously, that can't happen now, but just to talk about it.

The only other thing I'm SUPER scared of is what if I don't make it next year? Next year will be my last year, and I wanted this so bad. You guys, thank you for all of your support. It really means a lot to me. Unfortunately, the judges don't know how dedicated I have been and how well I really do without them watching.

I think i'm gonna make a couple of calls and keep crying. My head is killing me from all of this crying. I guess I REALLY didn't know that I wanted it THIS bad. I almost feel as if I've let some people down. I really and truly thought I would be a shoe-in. I'm wrong. I feel horrible. It's gonna be SO hard to tell Jordan and Clint. They both were so supportive of me, and knew how bad I wanted this. I actually really just want to go sit and like see a movie or something with them both.

I called Erin and talked to her about it. She was so surprised. I called her, and she knew I was crying. I took a deep breath, said sorry, and I burst out and told her. She goes, "ARE YOU SERIOUS?" I told her yeah. Then, I told her that Voula made it. She was so mad.

And now, I'm going to give lyrics to a great song. It's called Beautiful by Bethany Dillon. It makes me feel happy and makes me cry at the same time.

I was so unique, but now I feel skin deep.
Count on the makeup to cover it all.
Crying myself to sleep cause I cannot keep their attention.
Thought I could be strong, but it's killing me.

Does someone hear my cry? I'm dying for new life.
I wanna be beautiful.
Make you stand in awe. Look inside my heart, and be amazed.
I want to hear you say who I am is quite enough.
I just wanna be worthy of love, and beautiful.

Sometimes I wish I was someone other than me.
Fighting to make the mirror happy.
Trying to find whatever is missing.
Won't you help me back, to glory?

I wanna be beautiful, make you stand in awe.
Look inside my heart, and be amazed.
I want to hear you say who I am is quite enough.
I just wanna be worthy of love, and beautiful.

You make me beautiful, you make me stand in awe.
You stepped inside my heart, and I am amazed.
I love to hear you say who I am is quite enough.
You make me worthy of love and beautiful.

itunes is being retarded!

Wed, 20 Apr 2005 23:07:18 GMT

I don't think I'll ever in my life drive a stick shift. They're kinda weird, and kinda scary. Just way too confusing.

Jordan came over last night to take me to The Dock. And, he was actually in HIS car. I know, I almost passed out, too. I get in and I was like, "Holy crap!" He goes, "WHAT?" I go, "You're actually driving YOUR car. I might have a heart attack!" He starts laughing and he goes, "I know! You've never seen it, huh? Just heard about it." I said yeah. And, it's a stick. Freaky deaky. Those scare me. I like my automatic just fine, thanks.

We get to the stop sign at the end of my street. There's like 2 cars coming our way. One's turning onto my street, so Jordan turns at the same time, almost kills us 3 times. Once when he was making the turn. Hello, there's a car turning right there. Second time, we almost hit a parked car. Third time, the car after the first one. He's such a crazy driver. I'm on my permit, and I'm a better driver than him. And don't think that under any circumstances that I won't tell you how to drive. I do. I was like, "Jeez, Jordan, I sorta wanna live until my 16th birthday!" He's like "What is that supposed to mean!?" I go, "You know what that means. Stop driving like an idiot." He goes, "My driving skills are just fine. Girls like guys with skills." (from Napoleon Dynamite.)

I go, "Yeah, but girls like guys with skills that keep them alive!" So, then, he started speeding. I told him to slow down. He's like, "Don't be so paranoid. I'm barely going 45!" I was like, "Yeah, on a THIRTY!"

I tell everyone to slow down. If they're my best friend, or if i've just met them. I'd rather be safe than sorry! And besides, I'm looking out for everyone's welfare!

Anyway. So, we're listening to this really good cd. Of course, I can't remember it now, but I asked what it was and he goes, "OH CRAP! I STILL haven't burned the David Crowder cd for you! I promise I will do it tonight." he gets out his phone and makes a reminder to burn it at 10:30 that night. He's setting this reminder up, WHILE MAKING A LEFT TURN. I didn't say anything this time, but, seriously, wait till we're on a straight road!

So, we're driving down the road and I go, "Are you excited to graduate?" He goes, "Yeah, but I look back and I really wish I would've been different about the whole high school thing. There's a lot of stuff I wish I did."

I go, "Really, like what?" He goes, "Well, since I was in such a serious relationship, like I missed out on a lot. Like, don't get me wrong, I loved her, and I mean, I still do love her, but since we were together for such a long time, we never did anything with anyone else. It was always just us two. And, we could've done things with other people and still be together, but I dunno...we just didn't. Like, I look at you and your friends, and I think 'Why didn't I do that when I was that age?' You know what I mean?" I said yeah, and related it to my life.

I felt sorta bad for him. I mean, like Laine wasn't completely holding him back. He could've done stuff anyway, but still, whatever.

We got to The Dock, and we talked to everyone. Jordan goes, "I have to leave at 8 you guys." We're like, "Why'd you even bother coming? It's already 7:50." Silly boy.

But, we had fun without him anyway. We had enough time to say two prayers, sing three songs, one of which was my fave and happens to be his fave, too. Then, he had to leave. At the end, Courtney and Laine both really had to pee. I told them to go in the bushes. There's this really wooded area behind The Dock, so nobody would see them. They both went back there, then they chickened out. Courtney took me home, and we had another conversation about Jordan and Laine. It was entertaining. I told her the new, juicy gossip I got from Jordan. She was like, "yeah, figures."

Then, I got home and I called Clint. We talked about Ramblers and I told him he had to come to The Dock the next week. He asked what time, and I said he'd have to talk to Jordan, it's his deal. Clint goes, "So, are Jordan and Laine broken up?"

I about screamed. I go, "Why does everyone ask ME this question? There's like a million people who I would ask first if I was someone else!" he goes, "What, so do you know or not?" I go, "I know. I was like the second person to find out. First it was Kyle, then it was me." I told him everything and he goes, "Well, I thought you'd know cause you guys are friends, or whatever." I go, "You're friends with him, too. Why didn't you just ask him? And, same with Kyle." He goes, "I dunno..."

So, yeah.

The Bando tryout meeting is on Thursday. Yay.

I didn't have to go to school until one fifteen this afternoon! Haha! It was awesome. I woke up at eight, and made a real breakfast. Pancakes, bacon, an omlette, and orange juice. yummy. Then, I just hung out, and I didn't even take a shower until ten. Then, my mom and I went to Target so I could get a tote. It's the new thing at my school. Us girls don't have backpacks, we have totes. They're actually pretty handy. I like mine cause nobody has it. There's like twenty girls with the same exact one. But nobody has mine. Losers!

Then, my mom and I went to Einstein Bros. to eat lunch. It was awesome. Then, sadly, I had to go get some of an education. Even though I was there for only three hours, it felt like the full seven. Sad. Then, my ride's mom took us to McDonalds. Whoo hoo!

This guy in my second period was so stoned, cause it's 420, and it was HILARIOUS. He tried to put eye drops in, and his eyes were shut the whole time, so they were ALL over his face. It was so funny. I laughed for like 10 minutes because he was so retareded.

Tue, 19 Apr 2005 23:17:46 GMT

This is for you, Pohey!

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
001. Raychel
002. Raych
003. Ray Charles. He he!

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
001. raychiebaychie
002. balletsfriend
003. raych0621

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
001. my eyes
002. my legs
003. my hair

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
001. my nose
002. my lack of...boobs
003. my skin sometimes

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
001. German
002. Scottish
003. Irish

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
001. Driving next to trucks, busses, or 18 wheelers
002. people yelling
003. falling down in dance

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
001. Music
002. friends
003. dancing

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
001. dance capris
002. a cami
003. dance studio shirt

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS [at the moment]:
001. Maroon 5
002. Matt Redman
003. Delirious?

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS [at the moment]:
001. The Wonderful Cross by Matt Redman
002. Secret by Maroon 5
003. Take It Easy by Travis Tritt

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
001. Trust
002. True Love
003. CUDDLES! :D

TWO TRUTHS & A LIE [in no particular order]:
001. I drove into the neighbor's fence
002. I take 30 minute showers
003. I like to eat chips on sandwiches

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
001. Eyes.
002. A nice back
003. Big cheeky grin

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
001. Dancing/Choreographing
002. Reading
003. Listening to music

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
001. Dance with Clint
002. Go to The Dock
003. Eat something

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
001. Wedding planner
002. Wedding planner
003. Wedding planner! Aren't i creative?

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
001. Italy
002. Greece
003. Hawaii

THREE KID'S NAMES:
001. Carly
002. Ava
003. Jackson

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
001. Make Ramblers!
002. Make Bandos
003. Stay married to one person

THREE WAYS I AM STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
001. I like some sports
002. I like some cars
003. I know about skateboards?

THREE WAYS I AM STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
001. I'm a fashion slave
002. I love flowy skirts
003. I have actually said "EW" when I saw an ugly bug.

THREE CELEB CRUSHES:
001. Josh Duhamel
002. Jude Law
003. That guy off of 7th Heaven

THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ:
001. Lauren
002. Kimbob!
003. Allie bo Ballie!

spring show

Sun, 17 Apr 2005 15:32:20 GMT

I went to our school's dance team's annual Spring Show last night. It was SO good!

My mom cried in the Father/Daughter dance, and she looked over and cried more and said, "That'll be you and dad in 2 years!" She cracks me up. I go, "Only if I make it!" and she goes, "You'll make it, you will be in that dance in 2 years!" That made me feel good.

The Ramblers were freaking awesome. It was THE best I've EVER seen them. They were amazing. My heart was actually racing for the girl captain, Laura. Her partner was Jordan, and they did this thing where they swing you to both side, then you staddle the guy around his stomach, and he pops you straight up above his head, and lets you go and you flip and he catches you. Jordan popped Laura up way too fast and let go of her too early, and he seriously almost dropped her, but he caught her. They were early, but at least he was right in the center so it looked good. But I was so scared for her! Because, I mean, if he wouldn't have caught her, first of all, she would've landed right on her back, and second, because it's scary knowing that there's no way that you can help yourself. If something happens, you're screwed.

They had the biggest, scariest stunts, and it made Cliffhanger look like anyone could do it. Cliffhanger was the least of my mom's worries in that dance last night! It was so amazing. Oh, and all the guys' faces cracked me up when they did veil. They REALLY enjoyed that!

At the end of the show, the dance team ALWAYS dances to "One Singular Sensation." Everytime, that's how they end it. Same dance routine every time. I leaned over to my mom and said, "I can guarantee you that there's gonna be girls crying in the middle of this one." she asked me why, and I told her, "Because it's the last time that a lot of these girls will ever perform this dance, or any dance at all as a Bando."

And, I was right. You could see some girls' shoulders shaking as they were doing their kickline, and then at the end, landing their jump splits. Laine was definetly one of them. She lands her jump split, and you just see her whole body shaking, and her head was down and when she looked up, there was mascara everywhere. I almost cried, too, because that's the last time i'll ever see my friends perform.

Spring Show makes you feel really sad. You're like "Oh man, my friends are going to COLLEGE in a few months, and I might not see them again."

The highlights were definetly this Comedy Troupe video they showed, The Rambler, the Drumline, and of course, the finale dance.

The Comedy Troupe video was so funny.

This guy Jake was hosting a "Behind the Scenes" tv show at the Spring Show rehearsal. He starts out with the emcee's dressing room. This guy on the drumline, Sheldon, has the biggest, curliest afro. He's always had it. Well, he was "Jennifer". Then, Jake screams and he's like "JENNIFER?!" And Sheldon goes, "Oh, hold on!" Then, the REAL Jennifer comes out, looking gorgeous, as always. She brings Jake into the room, and Kyle is laying on the floor, in his boxers, pretending to cry. It was so funny.

Then, he goes downstairs to the Bando's dressing room. He sees Laine and he goes, "Oh, that's 1st Leiutenant, Laine Edwards! I hear she's THE nicest girl ever!" You see her sitting in this chair, and Brandie brings her some "coffee" and Laine sips it and screams, "BRANDIE, I WANTED A MOCHA, NOT A FRAPPICIUNO!!!" and throws it in her face. It was so funny.

Then, he goes over to this group of girls, who are drinking some cokes. He goes, "I also hear that the Bando's have EXCEPTIONAL table manners!" Then, they cut to this one girl, Becca, and she has the biggest burp ever. Then, this other girl goes, "That sucked! Listen to this!" and she burps. They were having a burping contest and Jake just looks into the camera and goes...riiiight. Then, Bailey burps and you hear her go, "OH MY GOD! I'M GOING TO THROW UP!" and she runs out. They write on the screen "Due to the graphic nature of the following scene, we edited it out!"

Then, there's two girls looking in a mirror, doing their make up, and Jake goes, "The Bando's also have very good make-up artestry!" Meredith turns around, and she looked like a clown. She had red lipstick all around her mouth. It was everywhere!

Then, they go into this hallway, and Kyle is talking to this girl. He has her pinned in the corner and he's like "So, Yeah. I'm the emcee for the show..." she goes, "Wow, that's cool!" and he goes, "..Yeah...so, wanna make-out?" and she smacks him across the face!

Jake starts walking up the stairs, and he goes, "Well...okay. Well, I hear up here in the green room is where the Ramblers listen to country music and get all ready!" He gets to the green room, and there's 4 Rambler guys, all with their boots and hats and stuff on, and they're all wearing sunglasses and bandanas and "bling" listening to rap music and every other word is "beep". I loved that part.

The Comedy Troupe would come out and do their little skits between dances. One, they were contemplating how our principal had broken his ankle earlier in the year. That one was so funny. They also had this one where they made fun of the Bando director's husband and Kyle. There was another one called "The Real World: Sesame Street!" and it was HILARIOUS. It had A LOT of innuendos in it. I was surprised that the princiapls actually approved it! There was some other ones, but they weren't really that funny. In one, Jeff and Ian were club members of "The Bob Saget Fan Club." That one was pretty funny.

After seeing the show last night, though, I'm SO excited to be trying out for Bandos and Ramblers! Yay! 6 days until Rambler tryouts! Clint's coming over all this week to help me!

And, I might be getting a new cell phone! yay!

hey..I know spanish!

Sat, 16 Apr 2005 00:44:04 GMT

Your Inner European is Spanish!

Energetic and lively.

You bring the party with you!

Who's Your Inner European?

Whoo hoo for me. I can speak the language! Woot!

Here's an imaginary conversation I could have...

Yo: Hola. Como estas?
Tu: Bien. Y tu?
Yo: Muy bien. Que hora es?
Tu: Siete y media en la noche. Por que?
Yo: Porque mi mama le dice, "Raychel, tu necisitas llegar a Spain a diez y media esta noche!"
Tu: O, yo veo. Spain, huh?
Yo: Si. Mi novia vive en Barcelona. El es MUY MUY MUY guapo. El tiene trienta y uno anos.
Tu: TRIENTA Y UNO? Pero tu tienes solo quince anos! Dios mio!
Yo: Hahaha. Mi novio no tiene trienta y uno anos. Actualmente, el tiene diecisiete anos.
Tu: O! Puedo ir a Barcelona tambien?
Yo: NO! Tu necista aqui en Mexico porque tu esta MUY fea y los hombres en Spain estaran muy muy muy muy muy triste cuando los dicelo! HAHAHA!
Tu: QUE UNA PUNTA!

OKAY! Translation time! I think it's a rather funny conversation myself!

Me: Hi. How are you?
You: Good. And you?
Me: Very good. What time is it?
You: Seven thirty at night. Why?
Me: Because my mom said, "Raychle, you need to leave for Spain a ten thirty tonight!"
You: Oh, I see. Spain, huh?
Me: Yes. My boyfriend lives in Barcelona. He is very very very good-looking. He is thirty one years old.
You: THIRTY ONE? But you are only fifteen! Oh my God!
Me: Hahaha. My boyfriend isn't thirty one years old. Actually, he is seventeen years old.
You: Oh! Can I go to Barcelon also?
Me: NO! You have to stay here in Mexico because you are VERY ugly, and the men in Spainn will be very very very very very sad when they see you! HAHAHA!
You: WHAT A BITCH!

I must say that that was quite possibly the funniest Spanish coversation i've EVER made up!

things are not what they seem

Thu, 14 Apr 2005 22:50:00 GMT

so, things are not what they seem to be.

Last night, I went to church. Oddly enough, Courtney Calloway was there. She's so adorable. She was one of the people who had come to the Bible study the night before. We were saying how it was funny that for the past 3 nights in a row, we had seen eachother somewhere where we were worshipping God.

I said to her, "So, was the Bible study your's and Kyle's idea?"

Courtney: No. It was Jordan's.
Me: Really?
Courtney: Yeah. Why?
Me: Oh, no reason, but that's weird.
Courtney: How so?
Me: Because Jordan said nothing of it. He just calls me and was like "wanna go to a Bible study?" and i said yeah, and he's like "Kyle's gonna bring some people, too."
Courtney: Well, it was all Jordan's idea, but I'm sure Kyle was in on it, too.
Me: So, I don't get it...how did you find out?
Courtney: Jordan called his friends that were in his little phonebook thing on his cell. He was just like "Hey, come to a Bible study, meet us at The Dock."
Me: Oh, ok. Wait, this is confusing...
Courtney: Not really..
Me: No, because Laine was there.
Courtney: Yeah, and?
Me: Jordan DEFINETLY didn't know she was coming.
Courtney: How could he not? He was the one who invited us all.
Me: Well, if he DID invite her, he's lying in some way.
Courtney: Why?
Me: We were in the car with these two other girls and Laine called one of them, seeing if they were gonna come. She got off of the phone and was like "It was Laine." and Jordan was like "Really? Is she coming?" and she goes, "Yeah...is that a bad thing or a good?" Jordan goes, "i'm thinking that's bad." There's no way he knew she was coming.
Courtney: That is weird, because let's see...he definetly called Kyle, you, Jill, me, those other two girls, and then a couple of other people. I know Kyle called some people, but he'd know better than to invite Laine...Maybe Jillian did, not thinking that Jordan was who planned it all?
Me: Maybe. But dude, they confuse me.
Courtney: They confuse everyone. Like, I just started sitting with them at lunch, and you can tell there's something weird...
Me: You know they broke up, right?
Courtney: Oh, yeah. But it's just weird. They aren't acting like it. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's good to stay friends, but I think he's not understanding the whole thing..and it's hard for Laine because he's like her only friend.
Me: Yeah, I know what you mean. But I think Laine's making it really hard on him. She's like everywhere he goes, and he has like no time by himself to reflect over everything. He needs some time away from her so he can actually move on.
Courtney: I know what you mean. Cause, last night, after that song, Jordan gave her a way too friendly hug and he kissed her on her forehead.
Me: Whoa..are you serious?
Courtney: Yeah...
Me: That's retarded. I'm sorry, but you can't be kissin on your ex...
Courtney: I know..and that's what happened at lunch. Jordan went to another table to study, and Douglas goes, "So, Laine, does Jordan know you guys are actually broken up?" and she said yeah, and he goes, "Does he actually UNDERSTAND that?" and she goes, "Kinda...I guess."
And, also, he's gotten really close to God all of a sudden. Like, were you at YL the night I gave my testimony?
Me: yeah.
Courtney: Yeah, well that was the night he first came, and I mean, ever since then, he's been really religious. And, I don't want to be like 'Yeah, I led Jordan Pettit to Christ!' because I don't think I did...did I?
Me: I don't think so. That was the night Laine broke up with him...you DO know why, right?
Courtney: No...
Me: I think it's a main reason why he's gotten so religious...She told him that God told her that they weren't right for eachother and that he's not for her.
Courtney: Harsh.
Me: Yeah... but no, he called Kyle like right after, and he brought him to YL that night.
Courtney: Oh, yeah. Wait, how come you know all of this?
Me: I rode home with them that night. Jordan was like "How do you heal a broken heart?" and Kyle told him he had to be with God through it.
But, also, I do wonder sometimes if he realizes that it's done. Like, forever. Because, he almost jokes about it. Now that I think of it, I don't think he's really okay with it.
Courtney: Yeah. I've noticed that, too. And I also think it's because he's going to A&M and she's going to Baylor, and he wants her to go to A&M also.
Me: Well, that's silly. It's her choice, but seriously, I think he really needs to talk to someone. I don't even think Kyle knows what's going on and he's his best friend. He puts on this sorta like..cover, and you can tell he's really upset about it, but he won't let anyone know, and that's such a horrible thing to do to yourself.
Courtney: I know. And, I asked him what he was going to do about Prom, now, and he said he's probably not gonna go, but if he does, it will be with Laine.
Me: Okay, I understand that Prom is a big deal, and Laine has been a big part of his life, but come on. That's totally going to evoke some feelings...not just for him, but for her, too. It will even if they go with other people, but I mean, whatever. I try not to get into it with him, unless he's willing to talk about it, because if not, it's like talking to a brick. And, I feel bad for him, but I think that they're both not helping him at all in the whole situation.
Courtney: Yeah, definetly, because I mean, they still eat together..
Me: And you know what? They would eat when they were together, but so many times, he'd get mad and just leave. They seem like they're more together now than they were when they actually were together.
Courtney: Totally. Like nobody believes me when I tell them they broke up.
Me: Same here, and I mean, It's not like I tell everyone, anyway.
Courtney: Same here.

That was pretty much it. It was pretty weird. We both know a lot of things that the other one doesn't know about and I mean, it was pretty intense. Finding out all these kinda weird things about one of your closest friends.

But, the thing that I found out is that i'm probably just seen as a friend. Nothing more. Because, it would've been totally different if it was Kyle's idea, but it wasn't. So, yeah.

Oh, and I have something funny. At our Bible study, Jillian had interrupted Jordan. We had just read the scripture where everyone was going to stone the prostitute. Jordan screams "STONE HER!" and so now, everytime we're around, and someone interrupts, or says something bad, we scream "STONE HER!" or "STONE HIM!"

I don't remember if I wrote about YL on Monday. Like half of the usuals were at Spring Show rehearsal, so we just played a game, and then, Joe, mixed chewing tobacco with orange juice and he DRANK IT! It was so disgusting.

this has been a rather draining post, so i'm going to go.

patience pays off

Wed, 13 Apr 2005 22:40:12 GMT

Holy cow, my knees and shoulders are KILLING me. From all those horrible, bad techniqued dips. Ouch.

But, now onto the best story of my life!

Wow, so, patience pays off. Like, a lot. Or maybe karma. Or both. It's amazing.

Last night, like 10 minutes after I posted my previous LJ post, I all of a sudden had a huge craving for a popsicle. So, I went to our garage, where the big freezer is. We didn't have any in there. So, I went to the normal freezer, and still, none. So, I asked my mom if we had any, and she said, "No. Oh, and will you please tell Lauren that her phone was ringing earlier?"

So, I went to tell Lauren. She goes, "Uh, my phone's been right here this whole time...it must've been yours." I go, "Probably that lady trying to sell me a black marble plaque again!"

But it TOTALLY wasn't that lady.

I go get my phone, and unlock the keys. It says "One missed call" and so, I go to the missed calls list.

I nearly screamed.

1 Jordan Pettit.

That's what my phone said. I was like, "WHOA BUDDY!" and Lauren was like (totally joking, too), "Did Jordan call you?!"

And I go, "Actually, yeah, he did! But he didn't leave a message. I HATE THAT!" so, I checked what time he called me. It was like 8:30, and it was only 8:45, so I called him back.

He answers the phone and I go, "Hey Jordan. It's Raychel." he's like, "Hey, what's going on?" and I was like, "Nothing. I'm about to get on the computer." and he's like "Cool." I go, "Yeah, I guess. Did you call me?" and he's like, "Yeah...and I uh...wanted to know if you wanted to go to a Bible study with me?"

I told him no.

TOTALLY KIDDING! I'm not freaking retarded, despite what Lauren might think.

So, I was like totally off-guard and I go, "Sure! Let me make sure it's okay, though."

So, I asked my parents and they were fine with it. I mean, who's gonna ban their kid from going to a Bible study? Nobody. Well, except for Natalie's mom.

So, he's like, "Okay, well, I'll be at your house in a couple of minutes."

I was looking for my shoes when he came. He talked to my parents and he told my dad I'd be home at 10. He talked to my mom and he's like, "We're gonna talk about Jesus!" and my mom goes, "Great subject, right?" and he's like, "of course!"

So, then, I grabbed my Bible, because, hello, it's a Bible study. So, then, we went outside. He's like, "I've got two other girls in the car, and Kyle's bringing more people, too!"

So, I get in the car, and meet the girls, and we listened to Christian music REALLY loud and scream-sang. Then, this one girl, gets a call on her cell and she goes, "Oh, it's Laine!" The car totally fell silent. It was pretty funny. They're talking and you hear the girl go, "Yeah, we're on our way right now...With Jordan...yeah, that Jordan...okay, we're almost there! Bye!"

She hangs up and Jordan goes, "Laine's coming, huh?" and the girl was like, "You didn't know?" and he's like, "Not at all." She goes, "Is that a bad thing or a good thing?" and Jordan goes, "I'm thinking it's sorta bad!" That made me feel good. I'm evil, I know.

So, after almost getting in a car accident, making a left turn on a red light, and driving about 10 miles over the limit, we got to "The Dock." The Dock is just that. A dock. It's in the middle of this big pond in this REALLY nice, extremely expensive neighborhood. Like, these houses were like 5 times the size of my house. And our house is a pretty decent size. It was ridiculous.

We got there, walked the half mile that it takes to actually get to the dock, and we talked with everyone. It was a really good group. Laine, Jillian, Taylor, Julie, Courtney, Kyle, Chad, Brandon, Kelsey, Nicole, the two girls that rode with us, Jordan, and me. Luckily, I actually know, and like all of the people, with the exception of one. It's not that hard to figure out who.

Three people had brought guitars, and like everyone knew how to play, so the guitars were being passed around the whole time. We sang a lot of praise songs. Most of them I knew, but then there were a couple I didn't know. Jillian sang "Beautiful" by Bethany Dillon. I LOVE that song, and she made me love it even more. We read some scriptures and discussed them, talked about some books we've read about the Bible, and just had this awesome worship time. Jillian talked about how God completely forgets our sins and Laine had a cow. She couldn't stop going, "He just FORGETS! That amazes me!"

At the end, we all got in a huddle and each of us prayed. Laine started crying in hers, and then it got REALLY cold and we all started shaking. At the end of the prayer, I said, "Jillian, was that me or you shaking? I couldn't tell!" And she goes, "I think it was both of us!" It was freezing! Then, we sang one last song, and then, Laine came over and hugged Jordan...for like ever. SO CONFUSING! Then, we left. We got in the car and Jordan FREAKED. He goes, "RAYCHEL?!? Did you call your dad?! Oh my gosh, I said i'd have you home at 10...it's 10:45!"

I go, "I TOTALLY forgot! But, it's okay as long as i'm home by 11!" and he was like, "I'm coming in and appologizing!" and I go, "You don't have to, really, it's okay!" and he's like, "No, I am!" Then, this is the second time that we almost get in an accident. In another left turn. The girl in the front seat was so funny. She screams, grabs onto the dashboard and starts yelling at Jordan. She goes, "YOU'RE SUCH A HORRIBLE DRIVER! We're going to die!" and he goes, "Nuh uh! My record's totally clean. No accidents and no tickets!" and the girl goes, "Yeah, not YET!"

So, we get to my house, and Jordan's like, "I'm coming it!" and I was like, "Do what you want!" and so he came with me. He appologized to my mom, and she could've cared less. Then, he left.

I was so glad he invited me. And, I'm kinda surprised. There's SO many people he could've called. But no, he called me, a SOPHOMORE. The two girls with us were seniors and they're like, "Are you a senior, i've never seen you in my classes?" and I go, "No, I'm a sophomore! Everyone thinks i'm a senior, though." They were like, "You've got a lot of senior friends, then!" And I go, "I know!"

It was so fun. We're going again next Tuesday, but at 7, so we can watch the sun set, and be out there for 2 hours without breaking anyone's curfew. I actually didn't want to leave. It was so amazing. We're out there, in the middle of all this water, all the stars were out, and these huge trees all around us. It was so much better than having a Bible study indoors, where you can't experience it all. Most of us would actually look up at the stars to pray. It was so amazing. I'm SO glad Jordan invited me.

It was awesome.

you give and take away, you give and take away, but my heart will choose to stay

Wed, 13 Apr 2005 01:25:54 GMT

So, every Friday in English, we have this thing called Ludic Reading. Basically we just read for 20 minutes. We're supposed to keep track of it in the folder thing, but nobody does it. Anyway, lately, i've been reading House of Sand and Fog. It's pretty good. Well, everytime, the teacher always asks me if i've seen the movie, and everytime, I say no. So, for some reason, he's letting us watch it in class. An R-rated movie.

Since i've read the book, the movie makes complete sense to me. Everyone else is so confused and I spend about 10 minutes after we watch our 40 mins for the day to explain it to everyone. Wow. Nobody ever wants to stop watching it. And I already know what's gonna happen! Haha, losers!

Third period, speech, was FUN today. We've been having a big debate competition, and it got very interesting today. The topic was abortion. That's always a fun one. It was really funny though. The Pro side was extremely uninformed and just stupid about it. So, everyone, except for one idiot, voted for the con side. They totally deserved it.

Then, fourth period came. Mrs. Smith didn't make us dress out because we had to hurry up and go down to the auditorium and fit in all three of our dances before A-Lunch was over. So, off we went. Jordan came, too. It was hilarious. Jordan, Ana, and I were all walking down the stairs right next to eachother. Ana somehow got onto the subject of Laine and him. He goes, "Actually, we broke up!" and Ana totally had a cow! It was hilarious. I couldn't stop laughing. I love knowing things before everyone else.

So, Ana comes up to me, with Jordan within earshot, and she goes, "RAYCHEL! Jordan and his girlfriend broke up!" And I go, "Uh, yeah, no newsflash to me." and she's like, "What do you mean?" and I go, "I was like the 2nd person he told. I found out the same night they broke up." she was like "Who told you?" I go, "Jordan..." and she's like "When?" and I go, "Like a month and a half ago. I found out about 2 hours after they broke up. First, he told his best friend, Kyle, then me."

I felt so special. Ana cracked me up, too. It was great. Then, we went into the auditorium.

We danced and my socks turned black. That ground is so disgusting. Anyway. After we were done, I asked Jordan if he'd help me with my dips when we got back to the room. He said yeah. So, we got to the room, and first, we had to do things like voting for Junior and Senior class student council people.

Then, we had to pay for dance shirts and give Mrs. Smith our size. Then, Jordan helped me. And guess what, my dips are still extremely horrible. Mrs. Smith was supposed to be watching and helping, but she didn't. Jordan was able to help some. So, we did like 20 dips, and we were done. I went and sat next to Mrs. Smith and she goes, "okay, raychel, let's see those dips!" I go, "Uh, we just finished doing them!"

So, she called Jordan over again and made him do them again. He came out in this spinny chair. He goes, "NO MRS. SMITH! I'm only doing dips again if she spins me REAL FAST!" And I told him no way. But, he insisted. So I did. Rather half-assed, too. He goes, "Fast..." and demonstrated, then, "SLLLLOOOW" and demonstrated. He wanted me to do it again. So, I did. And he like jumped in the middle of it. It was pretty funny.

Then, we got down to business. Mrs. Smith goes, "Okay, let me see your good leg first!" So, I did it, and it was SO BAD! I go, "OH MY GOSH! Totally kidding. That was BAD. Let me do it over!" So, I did, and it was like 20484583 times better. Mrs. Smith said I scared her. She goes, "I was like 'THAT'S your GOOD leg?!'" And I was like, "Yeah, sorry about that!" and I did my extremely horrible leg. And it was just that: extremely horrible.

So, after like a thousand more times, 50 girls staring at us, and plus a Bando lieutenant, her bf, and the Bando co-director all staring, we were done. My hands shook so bad. I don't even know why, because I wasn't nervous. But, I sat down next to Sarah and Dacoda after we were done, and I put on some powder. Sarah starts laughing and goes, "Holy crap! Look at your hand shake!" It was so bad! And weird.

Then, all these people who have no dedication to any type of dance at all would come up to me and TELL ME what I was DOING WRONG and what I could to do fix my dips. It made me REALLY mad. Hello, you've never even TRIED them! Don't tell me how to do them. You try them and tell me they're not hard. Like, this one girl told me totally wrong stuff. I gave her a mean look and I go, "Uh, yeah, well, have you ever even learned how to do the dip?" and she said no. I go, "Well, don't tell me what to do to fix it. First of all, what you told me was COMPLETELY opposite of what you're supposed to do, and second of all, it freaking hurts! You go try, see if you're able to get it without being in pain in your toes, ankle, calf, knee, thigh, hip, and wrist, ALL at the same time!"

That shut her up.

I always get these weird circle bruises on the tops of my hands after I do the dips. It's so werid.

11 days until tryouts. I'm getting kinda scared. I really need to practice with Jeff before we tryout. And, I REALLY need to get my dip down! It's so frustrating. I have EVERYTHING else perfect except for the freaking dip. Grr....

I was a fool to think that someday you would come around...

Mon, 11 Apr 2005 23:17:43 GMT

How ya feelin?
The day has had its way with both of us
And oh, I've gone out of my way but im not free
From this pain im reelin
I was a fool to think someday you would come around
But no no no, I'm not thinkin that way
Cause now i see

You are not what you seem
You are a mystery to me
Sometimes I just want to scream,

I think you should just go away
cause There's no necessity for you to stay
next time you come around my way
forget it baby you're not comin in

how's your day been, yeah
cause mine has taken straight and ugly turns
but no no no, i feel better today
cause im off my knees

you are not what you seem
you are a mystery to me
sometimes I just want to scream
I think you should just go away
cause there's no necessity for you to stay
next time you come around my way
forget it baby you're not comin in

a hot minute for a life of sorrow
no you cant come back tomorrow
shut my windows, lock my doors
cause my heart wont be your rag doll anymore
yeah

I think you should just go away cause
theres no necessity for you to stay
next time you come around my way
forget it baby you're not comin in
a hot minute for a life of sorrow
no you cant come back tomorrow
shut my windows lock my doors
cause my heart wont be your rag doll anymore!